Poon Conversion Table
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Western totals (in poon)
|
|
Weight in J-Poon
|
|
0
|
=
|
0
|
|
2
|
=
|
7.5
|
|
4
|
=
|
15
|
|
Formula: Multiply annual homeland vaj consumption by 3.75 to generate approximate Japanese manko yield.
Background Assumption: Intended partners are reasonably attractive.
|
 Photo taken inside reggae dancer vagina. Copyright© Keio University, 2011 |
Research Methods:
 Number of women on period at Shibuya Crossing, 8:11pm, March 9th, 2009. © Japanese Ministry of Health
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Variables: 1) Pooning grounds: if Gaspanic or HUB, move totals two decimals to the right and subtract 30 years from chinko lifespan. 2) No encounter with a サゲマン (bad luck vagina) 3) Menstruation prevalence (see chart) |
Key Findings:
Vaj continues to be available at a relative surplus. However, those lacking the skills to procure it in their homeland will also be unable to do so in Japan.
Forecast:
- Poon showers will continue to be kept in check by heavy (claims of) menstruation.
- Eventual decrease of overall foreigner demand, leading to recession for downmarket gaijins.
- Increased risk in Roppongi’s popular manko-recycling program to cause foreign investors to seek added protection.
- Condoms to be introduced to Japanese public at 2034 World Expo.
Acknowledgments:
Saizeria, Mixi, & the Ageha Shuttle Bus
This message has been brought to you by the letter H and the free STD checkup for foreigners in Nishi-Shinjuku: http://www.city.shinjuku.lg.jp/foreign/english/oshirase/teiki/aids.html
— –
Your correspondent on the scene.
Minoru Kusoda
