1) Being Naked in Front of Members of the Same Sex:
| N. A.: | nightmare to be avoided at all costs |  |
| Europe: | not a big deal |
2) The Location of 16 Year-old Girls:
| N. A.: | somewhere I’m not |
|
| Europe: | the bar table beside you, drinking beer, with huge tits |
map: drinking ages in europe
3) Dirty Bar Glasses:
| N. A.: | ran through washing machine with hot water for minimum of 30 seconds to kill bacteria |  |
| Europe: | dipped in cold dirty sink water then reused |
maybe Belgian glasses like this can’t be put in a dishwasher. regardless, they do the same thing (5 second rinse) in prague where the glasses are uniform in size
4) Raw Chicken:
| N. A.: | radioactive. avoid handling. if touched, thoroughly wash hands under hot water |
|
| Europe: | not given two shits about |
Kiekekot in Leuven, Belgium. Half-chickens for 5 Euros. Last time I visited here I saw the chef eating raw chicken in the back with his bare hands. In the butcher shops in the town, the butcher would handle raw meat, cash, and door handle with the same unwashed bare hand.
5) “1” in an Elevator:
| N. A.: | ground floor |
|
| Europe: | first floor above the ground |
my Canadian friend told me that when he visited Paris, he found fresh dog shit in his hotel elevator
6) Hats:
| N. A.: | often worn by non-children on casual social occasions |
|
| Europe: | rarely worn by adults |
7) Bed Sheets (Not Mattress Cover):
| N. A.: | commonly found above mattress below duvet/blanket |
|
| Europe: | non-existent |
brown stain on bed sheet, May 3rd, 2007
8) Written Form of the Number One:
| N. A.: |  |
| Europe: |  |
9) Decimals:
| N. A.: | 10 dollars = $10.00 |  |
| Europe: | 10 euros = €10,00 |
when I wanted to withdraw cash upon arrival in Brussels, the ATM said I could withdraw “10,00 – 100,00 – 1000,00”. I had to ask the dude beside me which was €100. pic: kfed
10) Cheers-ing:
| N. A.: | clank glasses and then deal with liquid |
|
| Europe: | gaze deeply into partner’s eyes while clanking. failure to do so is said to result in seven years of bad sex |
11) Pork & Sausages:
| N. A.: | often avoided for health reasons |
|
| Europe: | consumed indiscriminately |
Cock? Intestine? Cleft Anus? Probably all of the above.
12) Music that Can’t Stop / Won’t Stop:
| N. A.: | hip-hop |  |
| Europe: | techno & trance |
14) Post-Clubbing Activity:
| N. A.: | fighting in parking lot |  |
| Europe: | eating kebabs |
pic: kebab without pita or sauce
15) Smoking:
| N. A.: | lame |  |
| Europe: | cool |
controversial French anti-smoking ad. caption: “smoking is to be a slave to tobacco.”
16) Content of Joints:
| N. A.: | marijuana, spit |  |
| Europe: | marijuana, tobacco |
a. schwartz weededed
17) IIHF “World” Hockey Championship:
| N. A.: | insignificant |
|
| Europe: | most important championship in hockey |
18) “Old”:
| N. A.: | circa 1920 |  |
| Europe: | circa 1400 |
19) The N Word:
| N. A.: | taboo, especially with harsh “~er” sound at end |
|
| Europe: | part of casual parlance |
chevy chase’s n-bomb SNL skit with richard pryor
20) Sidewalk Decoration:
| N. A.: | a hopscotch court drawn in chalk by children |
|
| Europe: | dog shit |
21) Wongs:
| N. A.: | mainly circumcized |
|
| Europe: | au naturel |
global map of wong circumcision prevalence
22) Garment Covering Cock & Balls:
| N. A.: | boxers or boxer-briefs |
|
| Europe: | tighty whities |
pic: The Hague
23) Wack Posturing Hiphop Thugs:
| N. A.: | abundant |
|
| Europe: | less prevalent |
24) Floss:
| N. A.: | used orally, as flood/plaque eliminator |
|
| Europe: | used anally, as butt cheek separator |
pic: zurich
25) Human Traffic
| N. A.: | walk on right side of sidewalk, same as road traffic |
|
| Europe: | no system |
sidewalk in front of Louvre, Paris
26) Percentage of Hot Women:
| North America | 2.34% |
| Europe | 3.98% (excluding the U.K.) |
|
north america |
europe |
tatooine |
27) Activity For Day Off:
| N. A.: | playing poker online in sweat pants |
|
| Europe: | eating olives on yacht in white linen |
28) Head & Shoulders Shampoo Bottle:
| N. A.: | hide from girl so she doesn’t know you have dandruff |
|
| Europe: | used by girl and your whole family |
pic: man with turban made of bees
29) Duration of Average Relationship:
| N. A.: | 2 months |
|
| Europe: | 5 years |
pic: courtship of green turtles
—- –
Works Cited
Flaubert, Gustave. Madame Bovary. (1856)
Flynt, Larry. Hustler. Issue #239 (1982)
Griswald, Clark. National Lampoon’s European Vacation. (1985)
Spielberg, Steven. An American Tale: Fievel Goes West. (1991)
White, E.B. Charlotte’s Web. (1983)
—- –
Great article! Nevetheless I must comment on the washing off. Glasses usually go first to the cold water – to get rid of the skim in the glass,that´s right. However, then they are washed in the “box” with warm water, soap and brush, next to the first box. After this the soap is rinsed in the cold water again. According to my experience, it´s really true that belgians wash glasses in the way you described:) and also, not every czech pub follows the style i mentioned;)I am happy being european especially because of the no. 4 :-)
bahaha. i meant 14 :D yes to kebab but no raw chicken :D
kebab’s are good… when you’re drunk. looks like a giant elephant leg
thankfully in north america, the after-clubbing fighting is mainly confined to the vicinity of drunken idiots.
chill people get slices of pizza =)
I can vouch for some of these. Suzana’s got the facts on the pub glass hygiene situation.
The legal drinking age in the UK is not 16, it’s 18.
Its 16 if you have a meal with it in a restaurant. 18 without a meal.
look im in Australia and after looking at both sides i think that the whole thing is just tiered i mean at first the lets target the country who is always made fun of that’s original idea was funny for like a day but after that once you really look at it alot of the things putting down america can applied to the EU and anywhere else in the world so i think we can all agree that the main difference is geographical
Ok, in America we eat pork and sausage all the time, what are you talking about? also, last time i had a hotel in paris the bed had a sheet (although the pillows were so small you’d need a magnifying glass to see them)
!
I am Frank Sinatra
50% right 50% wrong……
Comical. Agreed. There is a lot of pork and sausage eaten here, but some avoid it like the plague and then you have people like me who are in between. tobacco w/ weed… disgusting. Tobacco use? get educated please for your own benefit. % of hot girls. Whoever took those numbers must be blind in the US at least. Europeans.. put some more clothes on. You are not that good looking :D and even if you are, are you sure people want to look at your naked asses. why would you want your nads squished up in underwear. You need to breathe down there. You’ll get a rash.