Japan as Poon Reservoir

30 Dec

Poon Conversion Table

Western totals (in poon)

Weight in J-Poon
0
=
0
2
=
7.5
4
=
15

Formula:

Multiply annual homeland vaj consumption by 3.75 to generate approximate Japanese manko yield.
 

Background Assumption:

Intended partners are reasonably attractive.
inside reggae dancer's vagina, Japan

Photo taken inside reggae dancer vagina. Copyright© Keio University, 2011

Research Methods:

 Japan sex positions

Shibuya crossing period
Number of women on period at Shibuya Crossing, 8:11pm, March 9th, 2009. © Japanese Ministry of Health

Variables:

1) Pooning grounds: if Gaspanic or HUB, move totals two decimals to the right and subtract 30 years from chinko lifespan.

2) No encounter with a サゲマン (bad luck vagina)

3) Menstruation prevalence (see chart)

Key Findings:

Vaj continues to be available at a relative surplus. However, those lacking the skills to procure it in their homeland will also be unable to do so in Japan.

Forecast:

  • Poon showers will continue to be kept in check by heavy (claims of) menstruation.
  • Eventual decrease of overall foreigner demand, leading to recession for downmarket gaijins.
  • Increased risk in Roppongi’s popular manko-recycling program to cause foreign investors to seek added protection.
  • Condoms to be introduced to Japanese public at 2034 World Expo.

Acknowledgments:

Saizeria, Mixi, & the Ageha Shuttle Bus

This message has been brought to you by the letter H and the free STD checkup for foreigners in Nishi-Shinjuku: http://www.city.shinjuku.lg.jp/foreign/english/oshirase/teiki/aids.html
 
— –
 
Your correspondent on the scene.
 
Minoru Kusoda

Minoru Kusoda

 

Tags: , ,

No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.